Sharing Memories

Today is the one-year anniversary of Dad/Grandpa's death. Here are more posts about her grandpa from E's blog.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My grandpa passed away last Monday. The funeral preparations have been made and done with. Family has arrived and gone. Countless food dishes have come and been eaten. Sympathy cards have piled in. Our answering machine has been full. I feel surrounded by love and support; I really do, and it has been an utterly amazing blessing.

I know he is at peace, but to be honest, I'm still struggling with his death, and think I will be for a while. He was such a large part of our lives, of my life, especially over these past months, and this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing him, talking to him, or writing to him.

I miss his presence. I miss his voice. I miss the twinkle in his eye when he winked. My grandpa was a teacher--by profession as a woodshop teacher, but foremost as one who was always learning and wanted to spread it to everyone around him. Every new thing he learned was something everyone got to hear at least twice. His causes--collecting pop can tabs for the local chapter of American legion, St. Jude's Children's Hospital, Saginaw Valley State University--were dear to his heart and always on the tip of his tongue. His passions for history and other cultures spread too. He got a black belt at age 66. He took physical fitness and computer classes at the local university. His daily question for me was, "What did you learn today?" It didn't matter whether it was a school day or not.

My grandpa was one of the first who taught me to question. I remember once when I asked him why the "p" in raspberry was silent. After looking it up, he decided it wasn't silent after all--we'd all been wrong! He had me tell everyone I knew, and he spread the word too. Eventually, of course, our supposition was proved false, but I will always remember what it felt like one of the first times I felt like I had been part of making a discovery that no one else had made.He was stubborn, but so am I (and at least I know I have a legitimate source for it!) He swore, yelled, lashed out, but taught me patience. I think I will always know that I learned how to nurture from him first.

I'm sure there's more to come..."You are Mine" played with Grandpa's pictures during visitation ... with the pictures of me as a child smiling and laughing with Grandpa. For someone so active before the rapid onset of dementia, these words seem so fitting, "I will call your name/embracing all your pain/stand up, now walk, and live!"

All cliche aside, God has called Harry E. Martin, Jr. back to life.



Aug. 12 2007
Simple Things
My mom and I spent tonight with Sammy & Ashton. It's so much fun to be with them and watch them grow. Ashton baked us pancakes with bugs, or at least started to but got distracted in taking all of "my toys" away. "You can't play with toys before dinner, Zizzie." Oh, that's right, I forgot. *sigh*


Tomorrow we're going to go over and spend some good time with Grandpa. He has, for the most part, been much more peaceful over the past few weeks. I think some of it is resignation. I think some of it is just mellowing out? I think a big part of it is that we've spent more time with him. We've been taking him out for dinner a few times a week or sitting around with him while he eats his at home. Everytime we go anywhere it's the "best he's ever had." (It's great to hear him talk like that.)


I talk to him at least three times a day. The first call is usually to see if he's taken his pills for the day, the other two or three or four usually because he forgets we've already talked. But sometimes it's nice to talk, and it's nice to hear that he's happy. As of the last doctor's visit, the doctor still didn't have a firm diagnosis. The only firm thing is that he can't drive although we're hoping to make that more official through Secretary of State. He's on two pills right now. One is for his thyroid and the other Aricept, is used for Alzheimers patients. We know he has some type of dementia, but sometimes it would be nice to have a firmer diagnosis. It seems like things would have a clearer path then, but I guess there really never is a clearer path with this. The family goes through a parallel struggle with the family member--a struggle to accept the person as they are now, not before, to be patient, to care even the twentieth time a story is told, to provide the absolute best that can be given.


We pray and we wait. We pray and we wait and we love.

Sunday, August 19, 2007
We got home from church today to find my grandpa's pajama pants and bathrobe on a chair by the stairs to my room and him curled up in my mom's bed sound asleep.


He's home now, at least for a day or two.

Monday, August 20, 2007

My grandpa's tucking in at our house tonight in preparation for a 5-6 hour session at Covenant tomorrow and the next few days also. The procedure is meant to measure fluid levels in his brain, which if at a certain level may be adding to his memory loss. If they do detect raised levels, a surgery can put in a stent that will keep them closer to desired levels. I'm hoping it goes well. It's just another step along the way I suppose. We're doing our best to keep him at comfort though.

Aug. 26, 2007
My grandpa has completely shut down this past week. He won't do anything unless someone does it for him, and he's been so resistant and bitter. He's a new man everytime I see him, mostly sleeping away the day to avoid his own head. I don't always know what to say or do. Sometimes I wish I could just hold him in my arms and hug him to somehow make it all go away.